I figured the best way to share our story was to begin with some background on our history and family.
So, here it goes..
I (Lyndsie/aka Lainy) have dealt with social and general anxiety as long as I can remember. I don't recall the age I realized my fears weren't "normal" or that panic attacks were panic attacks and not something everyone experienced. But, at some point, I matured enough to realize something was wrong with me. It would take a lot more years before I decided to seek help for these issues and still to this day, I only accept help on an intermittent basis (which I don't recommend, mind you).
My husband, Alex, and I were high school sweethearts. Six years after meeting, we were married. Shortly after that, we discovered I was pregnant with our first child. Nothing sets paranoia and anxiety into overdrive quite like pregnancy hormones! I was a wreck!! I was so sure I was going to do something "wrong" and mess up our baby. It was this fear that led me to sign up for the genetic disease testing that would change our lives forever. It was a simple blood draw that informed us we were carriers of the Cystic Fibrosis Gene, meaning our baby had a 25% chance of having Cystic Fibrosis. I had heard of the disease before, but knew nothing of it. So, I did what any anxious person does when handed a scary, unknown situation; I turned to Google. And even after my husband told me to stay off Google, I researched the way our lives would change every chance I got. This research of course only intensified my guilt and fears, yet it became a masochistic habit I couldn't stop.
Two weeks after Hayley was born, we received her official CF diagnosis and began our first pathway down chronic illness. Despite the additional challenges, we loved being parents and Hayley quickly accepted her princess status in our household. She was a strong girl that didn't let any of her sickness show. Even when she wasn't feeling well, she didn't show it. Just before Hayley turned two, we added our second daughter who is a CF carrier.
Five months later, Hayley suddenly passed away in her sleep. We knew she was dealing with a lung infection, but we had zero indication of how serious it was. As it turns out, she was dealing with necrotizing pneumonia. Her passing, and events that happened that day, led to my PTSD, which I was diagnosed with a few months later.
When Callie was 19 months, despite having already had exposure to all types of nuts, she had an allergic reaction to peanut butter. We were very blessed in that her reaction wasn't as severe as it could've been. She broke out in hives and began to show slight signs of anaphylaxis, however, the moment we wiped her down, all her symptoms disappeared. After seeing an allergist, and a blood draw, her peanut allergy was confirmed and we became epi-pen carrying parents.
One year after Hayley's passing, we discovered we were pregnant with our third child. Emotions ran high with the fear of returning to the CF world. My pregnancy with Ezra was my hardest. I had severe back, hip, and pelvic pain that I continuously brought up to my doctor with the concern something was wrong. Each time I was brushed off with an "it's your third pregnancy, you're just feeling the pain more intense now". Ezra's birth was my only natural birth without an induction. It was intense, to say the least. Two weeks later, we received our second CF diagnosis call and once again set off on a path that had already stolen far too much from us.
My pain only continued to increase after Ezra arrived. After quite a few doctors and too many tests to count, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease, and the beginning stages of arthritis. I had already been diagnosed with Endometriosis as a teenager.
The combination of our illnesses is the reason I wanted to share our journey. We have an array of different health issues on top of my mental health struggles, and of course the normal day-to-day life and parenting stressors. I wanted a place to share our struggles, victories, advice, experiments, and more.
To say that my life has been hectic and unpredictable over the last several years would be the understatement of the century! We've grown our family, I stopped working, we've lost a child, added another child, moved several times, I've started and stopped a business.... It's been quite the whirlwind!
For those of you that are new to my name, I began releasing my work in early 2013. Shortly afterward, I lost a child and chose to withdraw from the author world for some much needed mental health space. Right about the time I decided to dive back in, I discovered I was pregnant again. So, I once again decided my focus needed to be on my family alone.
Now, here I am, about 4 1/2 years after I originally began trying to chase this author dream, we are done building a family, and my kids are about to be in school for part of the day. Which means I am finally at a point where I can do this!!
I am very excited to get back into the author realm and, once again, publish my works! To be honest, I've wanted to do this for over a year now. However, the thought of self-publishing terrified me! I've even been sitting on a brand new novel for a long time now because I didn't want to release it on my own.
When I first began the journey of publishing, I was with a great publishing company who has been uber supportive of knowing why I needed to step away and focus on my family.
I am delighted to announce that same publishing company, Crushing Hearts and Black Butterfly Publishing, still has my heart and I am, once again, able to say I am a CHBB author!
Full release details are still being worked out, but beginning in October, my books will start to be re-released, and a new book is on its way as well! I also have a long list of new ideas/stories/worlds to work on to keep the books coming!
I am grateful beyond words to have been able to step back and focus my attention towards my family when I needed to most. It wasn't the easiest decision to make, but I know I made the right choice in doing so. I am equally ecstatic to be in a new season of life that allows me to put my heart back into my books and pump out words for my readers! Thank you for all of those who have stood by me throughout the last several, crazy years. Welcome to any new followers as well!
Stay tuned to this blog, as well my works page, for full release details as they come as well as cover reveals! <3
Much love! <3
Write Your Own Stars,
Here is where you can keep up with me and what is going on in my head, with my characters, and works! This is where all of my author information, cover reveals, releases, sales, contests, etc. will be posted. Check back for updates regularly.